September 18th, 2010
I Want To Be Oprah’s BFF Subtitled: I’m A Giant Meanie Pants
Okay, let me start out as saying in my defense, that NPR is my radio of choice. However, Air America, AM 1150 here in Los Angeles, is my morning show so when I get into the car at the end of day, it’s still on and I have to make a conscious choice to change the channel. I often forget because my brain is a pile of slimy ramen noodles at the end of the day. This is why I know Gayle King has a radio show.
Gayle, or as we know her – Oprah’s BFF, claims to discuss a variety of topics on her show ranging from politics to entertainment. Her promo on her website says:
“A self-proclaimed news junkie, Gayle’s extensive media experience will lead to in-depth discussions on universal subjects that matter.”
Uh…yeah…okay.
Allow me to digress for a minute and say that I’m pretty jealous that I wasn’t able to hookup friendship style with someone like Oprah back in my twenties. If I had hitched my star to that meal wagon, I’d be pretty freakin’ set right now. I mean, I would have a great, meaningful friendship with a wonderful person….isn’t that what I said?
I already know I’m risking incurring the wrath of the Gayle King fans….or as I see it, the ‘I hope to be two degrees of separation from Oprah fans’.
So back from the digress, I often end up listening to Gayle for extended periods of time before I realize that I can listen to real news, and thus promptly switch the station. I feel like it’s my civic duty to warn other listeners out there, those who might be too apathetic or absurdly loyal to their own version of AM 1150 to turn that dial. So I composed a little Gayle King Radio Show Diary for you so that you may learn from my apathy and be inspired to turn that dial to ‘This American Life’ on NPR….just a few notches over is the promised land my friends. In any case, enjoy:
Monday, September 13:
Dear Diary,
Today Gayle is talking about the six-word memoir. You are supposed to summarize your life in six words…hmmm, interesting idea, should I make my students do it? Why does she keep repeating hers? She has repeated it like eight times in the last two minutes, she didn’t even write it, her producer wrote it for her…does that count? Is it a memoir if someone wrote it for you? Wouldn’t that be a six-work biography? Now she has a caller who used the word ‘transcendental’ in his, I kinda don’t think she knows what that means….I’m being mean. Of course she knows what that means, she has a radio show, she must have a producer or someone standing by with a thesaurus….right? Oh man, she just repeated her six-word biography again. She thinks that ‘Favorite Mommy, loves all things delicious’ is the cat’s meow.
If you google 'ugh', this is what you get....who knew?
What would mine be right now?
Why Am I Listening To ThisCrap
If I cheat and pretend like thiscrap is all one word, that works…. Hmmm…how about this:
Why Haven’t I Changed The Channel?
That’s better.
Wednesday, September 15:
Dear Diary,
I think it’s Wednesday….huh, maybe I’m wrong. Gayle is talking about Amanda Knox. She actually has an interesting guest on; some FBI agent who thinks Amanda Knox is innocent. Why does she keep interrupting him, she keeps cutting him off so she can tell him that he ought to thank his wife for watching crime television and how Gayle thought Amanda Knox was guilty base off the media coverage. She’s told him like four times now that she thought Amanda Knox was guilty, this guy actually sounds kind of annoyed now, is she trying to refute him? With second hand accounts of some news show that she can’t quite remember now….I don’t think she’s going to win that fight.
Thursday, September 16:
Dear Diary,
Gayle is talking about Dr. William Petit. Horrible story. Why is she talking about the pronunciation of his hometown’s name? Seriously, she’s gone on for like two minutes about how she heard someone say Chesire wrong somewhere. Okay, she’s back to the story, now she’s back to the pronunciation of Cheshire, now she’s back to the story….focus Gayle, focus.
Unidentified Day, Sometime Last Week:
Dear Diary,
Gayle is busting wide open the story that divorce rates are higher for couples where the woman makes more money than the man. As evidence she’s taking calls from a bunch of divorced – or soon to be divorced – women who say it was all because of an inequity of wealth in their relationship. They didn’t use those words though…..
Maybe she’s right, but in the last five minutes she’s told me ten times that she’s divorced and repeated an amusing anecdote about some kid who told her and Oprah that he didn’t want to marry anyone like them. She’s telling that story again, make that eleven times. Sometimes Gayle King reminds me of my grandmother with the degenerative brain fog.
I think I’ve pinpointed why I dislike the Gayle King Show. She reminds me of my richy neighbor, who is not unlike any number of richy privledged housewife types that live in Beverly Hills or Cherry Creek or any richy suburb of a major city.
So nuthin' for nuthin', they seriously revised the definition of housewife for this show....some of this lot weren't even married.....just sayin'....
If you handed any of these women a microphone and gave them ample air waves and time slots, this is the show they would have. They would lightly discuss all the stuff they saw on the morning news and never have anything new to say; in fact they would never even have any in-depth research about it. In exchange for their inequitable reporting, they would be chalk full of amusing anecdotes and little stories that vaguely relate to the topic at hand.
How I long for the days when Rachel Maddow was in the 3pm time slot….
Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito were unanimously found guilty of the murder of Meredith Kercher because the evidence against them was overwhelming.
They repeatedly told the police a pack of lies in the days after Meredith’s murder.
On 5 November 2007, Knox and Sollecito were confronted with proof that they had lied and were given another opportunity to tell the truth. However, they both chose to tell the police even more lies.
Sollecito’s new alibi was shattered by computer forensic evidence and his mobile phone records.
Knox accused an innocent man, Diya Lumumba, of murdering Meredith despite knowing full well that he was completely innocent. She didn’t recant her false and malicious allegation against Lumumba the whole time he was in prison. She admitted that it was her fault that Lumumba was in prison in an intercepted conversation with her mother.
Knox’s account of what happened on 2 November 2007 is contradicted by her mobile phone records.
Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito both gave multiple conflicting alibis. Neither Knox nor Sollecito have credible alibis for the night of the murder despite three attempt each. At the trial, Sollecito refused to corroborate Knox’s alibi that she was at his apartment.
Rudy Guede’s bloody footprints led straight out of Meredith’s room and out of the house. He didn’t lock Meredith’s door, remove his trainers, go into Filomena’s room or the bathroom that Meredith and Knox shared.
He didn’t scale the vertical wall outside Filomena’s room or gain access through the window. The break-in was clearly staged. This indicates that somebody who lived at the cottage was trying to deflect attention away from themselves and give the impression that a stranger had broken in and killed Meredith.
Guede had no reason to stage the break-in and there was no physical evidence that he went into Filomena’s room.
The scientific police found a mixture of Amanda Knox’s DNA and Meredith’s blood on the floor.
There was no physical evidence that Rudy Guede went into the blood-spattered bathroom. However, the scientific police found irrefutable proof that Knox and Sollecito tracked Meredith’s blood into this bathroom.
Amanda Knox’s DNA was found mingled with Meredith’s blood in three different places in the bathroom: on the ledge of the basin, on the bidet, and on a box of Q Tips cotton swabs. Knox’s DNA and Meredith’s blood had united into one single streak on the basin and bidet which means they were deposited simultaneously.
Sollecito left a visible bloody footprint on the blue bathmat.
According to two imprint experts, the woman’s bloody shoeprint on the pillow under Meredith’s body matched Knox’s foot size. The bloody shoeprint was incompatible with Meredith’s shoe size.
Knox’s and Sollecito’s bare bloody footprints were revealed by luminol in the hallway. Knox’s DNA and Meredith’s DNA was found mixed together in one of the bloody footprints.
An abundant amount of Raffaele Sollecito’s DNA was found on Meredith’s bra clasp. Sollecito must have applied considerable pressure to the clasp in order to have left so much DNA. The hooks on the clasp were damaged which confirms that Sollecito had gripped them tightly.
Amanda Knox’s DNA was found on the handle of the double DNA knife and a number of independent forensic experts – Dr. Patrizia Stefanoni, Dr. Renato Biondo and Professor Francesca Torricelli – categorically stated that Meredith’s DNA was on the blade.
Sollecito knew that Meredith’s DNA was on the blade which is why he twice lied about accidentally pricking her hand whilst cooking.
The defence experts were unable to prove that there had been any contamination. Alberto Intini, head of the Italian police forensic science unit, pointed out that unless contamination has been proved, it does not exist.
Amanda Knox voluntarily admitted that she involved in Meredith’s murder in her handwritten note to the police on 6 November 2007. She stated on at least four separate occasions that she was at the cottage when Meredith was killed.
The English translation of Judge Massei’s sentencing report can be downloaded from here:
http://www.perugiamurderfile.org/viewtopic.php?p=53735
Everybody’s a media critic these days. Thus, user-friendly comment sections.
That was a great post. You nailed my inner snarky media critic persona/alter ego.
I felt a little snarky writing it, but man, why is Gayle on AM 1150? She’d be a great FM entertainment host….but news? Really?
I’m fully aware that Harry Rag’s comment was Spammy McSpam – but lucky for him, it was interesting spam.